


Awake

by shade_of_purple



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 11:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7313848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shade_of_purple/pseuds/shade_of_purple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While away on holiday, one of our boys wakes up before the other one morning...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awake

**Author's Note:**

> I was tempted to write this after reading so many great works on here. I hope you enjoy x

I awoke. The sunlight was pouring through the slit down the centre of the blue drapes hanging at the balcony door. For a split second I couldn’t remember where I was. But then his warm breath blowing softly on the back of my neck brought the memory back.

The stillness. The feeling of contentment. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure that this is real, that I haven’t drifted back into the Land of Make Believe. I had spent so long there. I begin to question my sanity again but then I feel his hand brushing ever so softly over my stomach. And then I know. It is real.

I feel so many things wash over my body and rush through my mind with just one touch. His touch. How can such a simple thing as the tap of one finger illicit such a rainbow of emotion? I don’t know. All I know is is that I can’t wait for him to do it again.

I lay quietly wrapped in the cotton sheets, our legs entwined together with his chest pushed up blissfully against my back. Is he awake? He doesn’t stir. I begin to realise that I haven’t seen his perfect face or beautiful eyes since the night before and this makes me whimper silently. It stings deeply in my chest and it is only a few seconds until I begin panicking again that this isn’t real. I need to see him. I need to look upon him and show him. I need him to see the love radiate from my eyes in to his. I need him to know that this is real too. But most of all I need him. He is everything. And so I turn softly and slowly in his arms.

My skin brushes his. And there; there he is in front of me, sleeping. He doesn’t stir, which makes me slightly sad that I can’t see his eyes. I can’t see him. But the feeling soon subsides when I take in his face. The pure beauty before me; it is breathtaking. I am the luckiest guy in the world.

But what if when he wakes he doesn’t want me? He doesn’t want the life he has chosen for himself? That I am not enough for him? That I can’t give him what he truly wants? The panic sets in again. The fear.

Fear. So much has happened in the past 2 years. So much has changed. I’ve changed. But that fear never goes away. Somewhere in the back of my mind it exists. It speaks to me. It is my control factor, my Inner Demon. ‘He doesn’t want you’ it says, ‘he will go back to his old life’ it says. And this thought scares me more than anything ever has in my entire life.

What if it does happen? What if he leaves me? I would cope on the outside. But inside I would die. I would die a little more each day he wasn’t there, until all that was left of me was a shell; a body. The thoughts are killing me.

What is a body without a mind? Without feeling inside, without purpose, without a soul? Nothing. No. I can’t live like that. I refuse. ‘I won’t ever live like that again’ I say determindly in my head, being steadfast in my resolve, pushing that Inner Demon to the back of my mind. And then I am roused from my worrying.

His eyes; they are open. And with that I just feel alive. All the fear, worry and insecurities wiped from my mind. He looks at me. And it is like no-one has ever looked at me before. The wonder in his eyes while he's looking back at me. He sees me, all of me.

There is nothing my eyes can hide from him. I see his expression break in to a smile, a loving smile. It is the most beautiful smile in the world. My whole body tingles with feeling again. The feeling that only he can give me, the feeling I can’t ever live without again. The feeling of utter completeness.

I smile back at him and lean forward and kiss him softly on the tip of his nose. He giggles sweetly and sighs, “Morning”, the words flow from his mouth. I move back and return my gaze to his and I know for as long as his eyes are resting on mine all the ‘what ifs’ and all the fear will never return again.


End file.
